


Touch It

by nofeartina



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Blowjobs, Boys being soft and in love, But also a little bit of angst due to Emma and Sonja, But is easily overwhelmed with all the gay, Isak has gay thoughts, Isak is in love with Even, Kissing, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, S3, handjobs, lots and lots of kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-11-01 11:41:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10921095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nofeartina/pseuds/nofeartina
Summary: The first kiss makes everything go quiet in his head. It’s easy to be courageous here; surrounded by water, no sounds coming through. Just him and Even. Just this storm in his head, butterflies in his stomach, that immediately quiets when he gets his lips on Even’s.OrFive times that Isak is overwhelmed by Even, and one time it is the other way around.EDIT: Re-posted because it's been betaed. :)





	Touch It

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the result of me having a major worth-as-author crises. Shit has been going down in RL, and sometimes it seems that it’s just too fucking hard to get things down on paper, even if my head is brimming with ideas. And then the bone-crushing dread whether I’m just writing for myself or if anybody actually enjoys all the work and effort I put into things. 
> 
> It’s just been a lot.
> 
> I decided I had to find a way to push through it, so I’ve given myself some time off from my WIPs to do this small ficlet. Writing used to be fun, and writing this made me get back to that. And I wanted to share it with you guys. I hope, really hope, you enjoy it, even if it’s more like a writing-exercise for me to get my head back in the game. :)
> 
> TL;DR – Here have some pwp as I attempt to write myself out of a crises…
> 
>  
> 
> EDIT: So this has been graciously betaed by the sweet Mornmeril, and she's been diligently going though all my all work from before she came into my life and saved me and my writing. This is the last of the re-posts so I won't clog up the tag anymore after this. :)
> 
> I really enjoyed writing this, it's one of my faves, and I can't thank you guys enough for how well you received it and all your kind comments. Thank you, this fandom is the best! Now go read, and I hope you enjoy! XD

**1: Friday - The pool**

The first kiss makes everything go quiet in his head. It’s easy to be courageous here; surrounded by water, no sounds coming through. Just him and Even. Just this storm in his head, butterflies in his stomach, that immediately quiet when he gets his lips on Even’s.

When they emerge from the water, Isak expects his head to explode with a cacophony of fear, guilt and shame, but instead he feels a bone deep _relief_ like he’s never felt before. When Even pulls back and looks at him and he starts smiling, Isak is so overwhelmed he cannot possibly smile back. But he immediately misses Even’s lips on his and leans forward to rectify that.

He’s grateful that Even initiated it, that he was brave enough to go for Isak. No matter how right this feels, he’s not sure he would have had the courage to go for it like Even had.

He’s just starting to panic about where he’s allowed to put his hands on Even when Even puts his in Isak’s hair and Isak stops thinking for a while. Surrenders himself to the feel of Even’s lips and tongue.

 

**2: Saturday morning - Isak’s bed**

_This is how it should be_ , Isak thinks and lets himself melt further into the mattress.

He’s high as a kite, on the weed and on the kisses and on _Even_. He can’t believe that they’re here, that he’s lying next to him, laughing and just being so real. Nothing compares to how Isak imagined it would be. He never dreamed it could be like this; so easy and comfortable.

Even’s just so effortless to be with.

He finds himself turning his head towards Even, even though it feels like it’s filled with lead. And Isak lets himself stare all he wants. Allows himself to breathe Even in, revel in the fact that he’s here with him. So close that Isak could touch him if he wanted to. That Isak is allowed to touch him if he wants to. And Isak wants to so bad. Can barely restrain himself from not just clinging to Even, but settles with having some part of his body constantly touching Even’s, be it a knee or a finger. He just has to touch, constantly aware of where Even is compared to him, a physical ache only settled when he can feel Even.

Even thankfully allows it. Actively encourages it even, and reaches out for Isak when Isak pulls back because his head catches up to him.

Isak wishes he was braver. That he was better at speaking his mind. But he’s spent so long trying to close down that part of himself that he almost finds it impossible to open up now. And he tries not to stop and think about it, because he’s so close to being completely overwhelmed. Everything he ever wanted is suddenly within reach, he never thought he’d get to have this.

It’s never been like this. He’s never felt anything this intense before. Even’s touch feels a thousand times more intense than any touch has ever felt. Even’s kisses don’t compare to any kisses he’s ever had before.

His mind goes blank and his body stalls every time Even takes charge. Every time Even pushes further ahead, pushes his tongue into Isak’s willing mouth. It’s just too much. Too much at once. He can barely contain all the feelings trying to pour out of him. And thankfully Even seems to get it, pulls back enough to still make it intimate and so _fantastic_ that Isak is still seeing stars. But they keep to kissing and to touching above the clothes.

Isak is pretty sure he would combust if Even put his hand on his dick at this moment.

 

**3: Saturday night – Isak’s bed**

“Touch me,” Isak breathes out into Even’s mouth. Every cell in Isak’s body is alive, every nerve is firing. He feels like he’ll die if Even doesn’t touch him in some way right now. Isak has no idea of what exactly he’s asking, he just wants to feel Even’s hands on him in some way. Or his lips. He’s not really choosy like that.

They’re finally going further than kissing. Watching Even pull off his pants is a revelation that Isak never thought he’d experience. Every piece of clothing that has been shed has felt like a battle won and every move pushing them further has been deliberate and slow. The tension has been building between them all day, until it’s so unbearable to Isak that he’s on the verge of combusting before Even can even get his hands on him.

Isak is shivering, panting, feels out of control. Is happy to let Even take the lead, so sure of his experience due to his confidence.

They’re down to their briefs now, only two pieces of cloth between them, and Even does this full body grind that rubs Isak’s dick just right, making him realise just how hard and aching he is.

“Even, touch me,” Isak whispers again, straight into Even’s ear, making goosebumps break out over Even’s skin, making Even groan.

“Isak, yeah, just…” he says in a low voice, obviously just as turned on as Isak, and then he pushes down the front of Isak’s briefs just enough to wrap his large hand around Isak’s dick.

Isak clenches his jaw hard for a moment, collapses back on the bed like his cords have been cut. He can’t keep still for long, arches his back to get closer.

It feels so good, it feels _too_ good. He groans and tries to breathe through the initial push towards the edge, he’s so close to coming, but he wants to prolong it, wants it to last. He knows he’s shaking and sweating and he’s not sure how attractive he is to Even in this moment, so he has to look, has to see if Even’s as into this as he is.

He slowly lifts his head, trying to control his movement, and then he looks at Even. And what he sees has him immediately so close to the edge that he feels like a complete novice again; like nobody has ever put a hand on his dick before.

Even doesn’t really seem like he notices the battle going on in Isak, he’s completely engulfed by watching his hand working Isak’s dick, looking at it like it’s the best thing he’s ever seen. The sight Even makes is so delicious that Isak doesn’t quite know where to focus, Even is so beautiful like this with puffy red lips and a flush covering his face, going all the way down his chest. Isak can see his chest expanding fast, like he’s panting as well, he looks like he’s on the verge of coming too, and just from stroking Isak’s dick.

Isak’s eyes then focus on Even’s hand on him. Even’s hand looks so huge wrapped around him like that, and the flex of the muscles in his forearm and shoulder are doing things to Isak. He never knew shoulders could be such a turn-on, but Isak has a hard time believing that there could be anything about Even that wouldn’t work that way for him.

Isak’s last thought is _shit, I’m so gay!_ and then he’s coming. And it’s glorious and mind-blowing and completely takes over everything for quite a while.

When he finally opens his eyes, Even is rubbing himself into his thigh and carefully takes Isak’s hand and wraps it around his own dick. And if Isak thought that the sight of Even’s hand on his dick was mind-altering, he doesn’t even have words for how the sight and feel of his own hand on Even’s dick is.

He loses sight of everything else, can barely feel how Even tries to kiss him, is spilling words right into his ear. It’s just so distracting; how the skin is so soft, but everything else is so hard, how it’s almost possible for him to feel Even’s pulse through it, how it feels to swipe over the tip with his thumb and spread the precum around, making it wet enough for the slide up and down to ease up a bit. Making Even groan.

Isak can’t believe he’s finally touching a dick. He’s wondered for so long, fantasised about it, and here he is, breaking boundaries he could never imagine he would allow himself to break. And it’s not just any dick, it’s Even’s.

Even who has completely filled him up, making him want so bad that he has to take whenever he can. The thought itself makes his dick twitch, making a valiant effort to get hard again.

With one last stroke of his hand he can feel Even pulse beneath his fingers, coating him deliciously in his come. Isak kisses him through it, doesn’t care if they just end up basically breathing into each other’s mouths. He wants everything Even will give him, even this. Especially this.

 

**4: Friday – Emma’s party**

Isak’s never felt this sense of urgency before. Doesn’t care that Even said he needed time to think, he just knows that he has to go to him. Can’t believe he’s there, within reach. He pushes through the party, looking around for Even.

He feels like the air is punched out of him as he runs into Emma. Who without any consideration outs him to the entire room, making Isak want to look around to see if anybody has heard her.

Her words sting, she thinks it’s so easy to just come out. To admit to the world that you’re different, like they live in a time where nobody could still get hurt by being not-normal, like they live in a time where it’s not possible to hurt others when they realise just how different you are. How different he is. What kind of not-normal.

Isak is frozen to the spot, unable to say anything back to her, unable to move past the chaos in his mind that her words have left behind. And then he looks up, notices Even smiling and laughing with some boy. Isak keeps looking, has this ominous feeling that he should look away, but he _can’t_. It feels like some kind of balm to his soul to finally see Even again.

Isak holds his breath as Sonja comes into focus. How she reaches up to Even and kisses him like she has a right to. Like Even’s still hers to kiss. And Isak’s world falls apart when he sees Even kiss her back. He can feel the panic creep up on him, feel it like an itch spreading through his body. Too many emotions at once, like his body is too small to contain it all.

He stands there and watches them kiss for longer than he should, but he can’t seem to stop, completely overwhelmed in a way he’s never been before, like his body and mind can’t settle.

Finally, somebody bumps into his shoulder as they pass him, and Isak uses the momentum to turn around and get out.  

Every step feels like an insurmountable feat, he can’t breathe, feels the tears pushing against his lashes, but he won’t cry, _can’t_ cry, not here, not in front of all these people. Can’t let them see how weak he is, how stupid he’s been for feeling like this, like he could have what he wanted for once. Like he could be free and happy. Good things just don’t happen to Isak. His mind is a whirl of feelings and thoughts, but one line keeps breaking through the chaos _, it wasn’t real, it’s never been real._

Isak can’t believe how fucking stupid he’s been. And still is.

 

**5: Friday – Kollektivet**

It’s been a while since Isak has felt like he was on top of things again. Like the weight on his shoulders wouldn’t crush him and leave him behind. These last few days have been cathartic, letting people know what he’s been struggling with.

After hitting rock bottom, feeling like he was alone, that he would never be accepted for who he was or wanted to be. That he was always going to live a life of regret, being fake. Letting his friends in, discovering that his world didn’t change after all, that they didn’t treat him any different had been like shedding armour he didn’t know he was coated in.

He cannot believe how much of a non-issue his coming out to his friends has been. And every time he says the words, “I had a thing with Even,” it gets easier and easier. And the thought that people would know his darkest, dirtiest secret gets less and less frightening each time.

And he cannot believe his luck, cannot believe how easy it’s been. He feels loved and accepted to the point where he almost feels like himself again. Like it’s somewhat possible for him to be the real Isak again. He doesn’t know anymore how long it’s been since he’s felt like that. Years, if he would have to guess.

Having the boys help him move things along with Even just enhances this. Hearing them actively caring enough about him, about his well-being, to help him write the perfect texts to Even, to see how they want to take part in his life like that makes him so happy.

As he finally closes the door behind them, throwing them out to make room for the talk with Even, he’s so nervous to see Even again, but he has a warm spot in his chest from how much support they’d given him.

He can’t help but pull Even in. Seeing him feels like he can suddenly breathe again, like all is right in the world. Kissing him is like coming home. He knows they have so much to talk about, so much they have to work out, but right now Isak just needs to feel Even beneath his fingers, need his kisses, it’s like a hunger. He needs to feel that Even is real.

The raspy feel of stubble on his chin as they kiss makes him flush, makes it even more real that this is not just kisses, this is him kissing a boy. This is him kissing Even, who clearly has been missing Isak just as much as they fight to keep kissing as they enter his room and start shedding their clothes.

Isak barely notices how he’s not even that overwhelmed anymore, he just _wants_ so badly, he’s never been so desperate for another person before. Every time Even pushes against Isak he can’t help but move faster, every touch sets him further ablaze.

He doesn’t even notice that they’re both completely naked before Even is kissing down his chest. His first time being naked sexually with a boy. But it doesn’t feel like a big deal right now. Isak can’t help but push Even’s head a bit, had wanted just to touch but as Even starts descending, he feels so desperate for it. Like his world narrows down to getting Even’s mouth on his dick.

The pause Even makes as he’s sitting on his knees in front of him gives Isak a moment to catch his breath. He’s afraid to look down, afraid of what he might see in Even’s eyes, but as Even moans his name he can’t help but look down.

The sight of Even on his knees in front of him makes Isak’s dick jump and Even huff a laugh. He grabs onto it, and keeps eye contact with Isak as he slowly licks across the head.

Isak makes a sound he’s never heard himself make before, like a strange mix between a moan and something caught in his throat, but he doesn’t pause to worry about it as Even takes it as his cue to engulf him in his mouth.

Isak is _dying_. He feels like curling himself around Even, feels like his knees might give out any second. Everything in him turns to jelly and he’s powerless to do anything else but just stand there and stare at Even. Stand there and enjoy getting his life sucked out through his dick. So fucking overwhelmed, like it’s his first time getting a blowjob.

He still has his hand in Even’s hair, and he’s making a mess of it. Alternating between letting go and grasping it hard, pushing Even forward just a bit, feeling his cheeks flush even further as Even makes a choking sound that really shouldn’t be as sexy as it is.

But just the idea of Even choking on his dick has his dick pulse and he knows that he’s spewing precum like there’s no tomorrow. He can’t imagine it being that comfortable for Even, but Even doesn’t really seem to mind. His eyes are shut now, long eyelashes fanning over his cheeks, making him look divine, like a vision, like something Isak was sure he was never going to have.

He tries to warn Even when he gets too close. Tries to pull him off so he won’t have to swallow, trying not to be that guy, but Even’s having none of it. He shakes Isak’s hand off, and just increases the tempo and suction and that’s _it_ for Isak.

He dies several small deaths as he comes, spills inside Even’s mouth, the heat and wetness of it as he comes feels like nothing he’s ever experienced before. He feels like he’s ascended to another plane, one made up of something perfect and mind-blowingly ecstatic and his mind shuts down as he continues coming for much longer than he normally would. Even pushes through it, keeps him in his mouth, just takes what Isak has to give.

As Isak empties himself, the strength in his body seems to leave him, and after giving one last final twitch that results in Even sucking the last few drops in him out, he collapses to his knees. The wet popping sound Even’s mouth makes as his dick is suddenly pulled from his mouth makes Isak want to come again. Makes him hot all over again. He can’t help but look at Even with awe, like how is this boy even real?

Even pushes him over, making Isak almost fall to the floor, making him want to say something smart and funny to Even, but his words die in his mouth as Even crawls over him, pushes himself between Isak’s legs.

Isak spreads them eagerly, moans at how it feels like Even belongs there between his legs, how right he fits there. But Even doesn’t stop there, keeps pushing to the point where Isak is completely exposed before him. Isak’s one leg is pushed to the side, the other pushed against his chest with Even’s hand on his thigh keeping it there. Isak suddenly feels overwhelmed again, like maybe Even’s pushing too far, but he trusts Even, tries to relax and wait to see where Even is going with this.

Even leans over Isak, kissing him even though that makes Isak’s leg stretch uncomfortably. But Isak kisses back, and as Even leans back a bit he can see and feel Even stripping himself, working his hand over his dick, and it only takes a few strokes for Even to come.

Even comes all over Isak’s dick and ass, actively trying to make as much of a mess of Isak as he can. The sight of Even coming is like a religious experience, it’s so hot Isak wishes he could keep it forever, and Isak can’t believe how good it feels to be covered in cum like that. It feels like Even is marking him, making him his. And Isak feels ruined for anybody else.

 

**+1: Friday night – Isak’s room**

“You know I’m usually really smooth,” Isak says and can’t help but smack Even on the shoulder as he laughs like he doesn’t believe it. “No, it’s true, I normally don’t have any problems hooking up,” he continues, but can’t help but smile at Even as he says it.

“I believe you. I mean have you seen yourself?” Even says and Isak can’t help but lean forward to kiss Even again. He feels like his lips will probably fall off at some point from all the kissing they’re doing, but he doesn’t want to stop.

They’re lying next to each other on the bed, still completely naked. Isak’s never been more relaxed and comfortable in his life. They’re just talking, kissing, basking in being close to each other after being apart for so long. Isak didn’t really think he would have this again.

They still need to talk about the serious things, like how Isak almost broke from Even pulling back repeatedly. If Sonja is still in the picture. If Even feels the same way as Isak. Isak can’t imagine not having Even in his life, so he chooses to ignore it for now, just wants to enjoy this. If this is the last time he gets to have Even like this, he’s going to make the most of it.

After a small pregnant pause Isak whispers, “I came out to my friends.” He doesn’t look at Even as he says it, can’t even face Even after.

Even pulls him closer, kisses his temple, comforting him.

“Yeah? How did that go?” he asks, like he isn’t really invested in it.

But Isak feels it in the slight tremble of his hand on his shoulder, how he curls into Isak just a tad more. And that makes Isak relax again, knowing that Even has his back.

He finally looks up at Even, sees him starting to smile at him, and says, “They were so cool about it. It was…” Isak tries to find words for how it made him feel, but he can’t.

Even smiles at his expression and leans in to kiss him again. “I’m happy for you, Isak.”

Isak smiles back and scoots impossibly closer to Even to kiss him again. And again, and finally Isak can’t help but moan as Even pushes his tongue against his.

The kiss turns heated quickly, and Isak feels like he can’t get close enough to Even. He pushes himself closer to Even, and before he knows it he’s on top of him, settled between his long legs, touching him everywhere he can reach, kissing him like his life depends on it. He can’t help but grind down into Even, and the moan that punches out of Even makes Isak suddenly desperate to make Even feel good.

In a perfect replication of Even’s earlier actions, Isak starts to kiss down Even’s chest. Though this time there is no hand pushing him down, and he’s so grateful for that. Isak fights his nerves, tries to swallow down the embarrassment and fear of not being good at this, of not being enough, of being too inexperienced. But as he looks up at Even, sees how his pupils are blown, how he’s panting with open lips, completely focused on Isak, Isak feels sexy and like he can do anything.

“I might be really bad at this,” he says as he reaches Even’s dick, and is happy that this is what came out of his mouth and not something stupid like _I’ve never done this before_.

Even huffs a laugh, and says, “I don’t think there is much you can do wrong here, Isak. Just you being this close to my dick is doing it for me.”

Isak can’t help but smile back and he immediately relaxes, can’t believe how easy Even makes it for him.

But as Isak diverts his eyes from Even’s to his dick, the nerves returns tenfold. He cannot believe he’s doing this. Can’t believe he’s about to suck dick for the first time. He hopes he likes it. He hopes he’s good at it. That he can make it good for Even. He tentatively licks the tip with his tongue, just to get a feel for it, just to see what Even’s precum tastes like. And as the flavour explodes over his taste buds he’s startled by the hoarse moan Even makes.

Isak can’t help but look up at Even, and the sight does unspeakable things to him. Even already looks _wrecked_ , he looks completely overwhelmed, and Isak can’t help but feel assured by this. He can feel his confidence returning, if a simple lick can do that to Even, he feels like maybe it won’t be so hard to make this good for him.

Isak puts his hand around the base of Even’s dick, slowly opens his mouth, and feeds himself Even’s dick. He’s careful about it, tries to watch the teeth, but remembers how nice the wet heat of Even’s mouth felt like as he closes his lips around Even and uses his tongue on him inside his mouth, kind of enjoying how the texture of Even’s skin feels in his mouth.

Isak can feel Even shake beneath him, like he’s holding back, and as Isak hollows out his cheeks, sucking lightly on Even’s dick, he can feel a burst of precum on his tongue and he can’t help but look up at Even. Even is flushed and panting, and can’t seem to look away from Isak’s mouth around him.

As he notices Isak looking he puts his large hand on Isak’s cheek, feeling himself in Isak’s mouth, his thumb caressing Isak’s stretched upper lip and says in a straining voice, “Isak, Jesus, your mouth…” and he looks like he didn’t mean to even say that, but it makes Isak hot all over and he increases the suction a bit as he works the part of Even’s glorious dick he can’t fit in his mouth with his hand.

Isak likes this, likes that he’s not the one overwhelmed for once, likes that he can overwhelm Even just as much as Even overwhelms him. It makes him feel like maybe they aren’t too far apart, even if Even is more experienced.

Isak starts to slide Even’s dick in and out of his mouth a bit, makes a small movement with his tongue as he does, that surprises Even into moving his hips a bit. The movement pushes Even’s dick too far down his throat and Isak chokes a bit, but soldiers through it.

Even is moaning apologies, says he didn’t mean to move, but Isak just sucks him in again, trying to make Even realise without saying it that it doesn’t matter.

Isak can’t believe how good this feels. He’s thought about it before, many times, _at length_ , how it would feel to suck dick. He’s watched too much porn and tried to really picture himself doing it. But his imagination was never good enough for how it actually feels to be doing it.

He’s surrounded by the smell of Even, by the feel of Even, how Even keeps making small aborted touches on his shoulder, like he can’t help himself, like it grounds him as well. The sounds pouring out of Even are Isak’s doing, and it makes him feel wanted and fucking powerful. That he could have such an impact on Even, who’s just too beautiful to feel completely real at times.

Right now he’s at Isak’s mercy. Isak’s jaw is aching with the stretch and the unaccustomed suction, and his mouth is filled with the taste of precum that just keeps pouring out of Even in a more and more steady stream. Isak is loving it, knows he wants to do this again, wants to become really good at it. Likes feeling like he’s the reason for Even’s pleasure.

“Shit, Isak, I’m coming,” Even breathes out, and the way he sounds makes Isak’s dick twitch. And it’s not until now he realises he’s rock hard and he suddenly almost hurts with how bad he wants to touch himself.

Isak doesn’t even try to swallow, he wouldn’t know what to do with it, so he lets go of Even’s dick, leans back a bit and works him with his hand instead. He focuses completely on Even, already addicted to watching him come. Even groans and grabs onto Isak’s arm, like he needs to check whether Isak’s real as well. The way Even seems just as overcome as him grounds Isak, makes him want to take care of Even, makes him more sure.

He can’t help the sounds that escape him as Even starts to come. He looks so fucking gorgeous as his face contorts with ecstasy and he paints his chest and Isak’s hand in stripes of come. Isak works him through it, tries to prolong it, tries to make it as good as possible for Even. And Even just keeps saying _Isak, Isak, Isak_ , like he’s not even realising he’s chanting his name and Isak feels like the king of the world.

He can’t help but lean forward, tries to kiss Even, who’s still too out of it to kiss Isak back properly, so Isak resorts to peppering kisses on his forehead, his cheeks, his chin, even his nose. And he doesn’t stop until Even giggles at the affection Isak is showing him. Even finally opens his eyes, and Isak finds himself getting lost in the depths of those blue eyes.

Even smiles at him, and looks struck and small and vulnerable, so Isak can’t help but nuzzle up to Even with his entire face. He puts his arm around Even the best he can, careful to keep his cum-covered hand away from Even.

Even finally comes to enough to kiss Isak back. They kiss for a long time and it’s slow and loving. Isak almost feels like he’s floating at the end of it. Feels like nothing exists in the world but them, just the two of them on his bed, in this room. His erection is still straining, still begging for attention, but Isak’s not in a hurry. He soaks up the moment, fighting to stay in the now, knows that Even will surely take care of it for Isak in a bit. But for now this is enough.     

More than enough.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> So... Come play with me on Tumblr? [nofeartina.tumblr.com](url)
> 
> And if you'd leave some comments and kudos that would really make my day, and make me not wallow in self-pity quite so much... ;)
> 
> Thank you!


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